Journal

a love letter: being my own muse

she knows how to love.

but she always gets so hesitant when it comes to show a little affection and some understanding to herself. she knows how to kindly respond people that are a little too evil sometimes, but she always believes that everyone is good when you really try to see them.

as she begins to say, “if i were in their shoes..”

she has a thousand words ready to be thrown from her pocket, never takes another second to paint someone’s else day with whatever colors you like. she writes about the good things that she wants other people to feel. she wakes up a little early or takes some time of her bed time to write you the words that could bring you to sleep with a content heart. she’s not asking for a reply. just a nod and a smile and sometimes a phone call could already make her feel seen and it’s more than enough.

as she begins to shake, “is this a little too much?”

she never takes anyone else’s failures to feel better about herself. she’s a full time lover. she finds it hard to quit a love that’s grown apart from her sometimes. she’s a friend. she still tries to be a better friend. she always tries to be there for everyone, to be present. she wants to find more love songs this year, it’s the only thing her heart desires.

as she begins to cry.

i wish nothing more for her than to take few steps back and listen to whatever emotions that she feels right now. i want her to know that she still hasn’t felt all the emotions in the world, and that she still hasn’t found all of the songs that she might love if she hears it in her favorite coffee shop. i want her to understand that there’s a day that it’s not yesterday, today, or tomorrow, but there will be a day where she will feel understood again. there are so many things that she still needs to learn. to be open. to be brave. to believe in herself more. to be a better lover. and the list goes on and on.

but starting from today, i also want her to understand that she, too, can be a little softer to herself.

i know that i’ve had my ups and downs loving you, cheering for you.

but i’m always going to give it a try.

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