Journal

a memory in the back of my thoughts has no power to hurt me

my friend asked,
“when you click that number
and you heard that voice,
what do you expect?
what do you want him to say?
to help you?
to comfort you?
to go above and beyond protect you,
and take all of the words that he poured?
let alone, to be soft to you?”

the sad thing is—sometimes we all have these buried expectations at the back of our minds for people, and we don’t even know that they (those thoughts) exist in the first place.

and it’s just expectations.

so now listen to me.

he’s not going to help you.
he’s not going to comfort you
he’s not going to go above and beyond to protect you,
nor take all of the words that he carelessly poured to hurt people.
he’s not going to be soft to you.
and deep down you know.
you know.
so now tell me.
when you click that number,
and his voice replied.
you’ve been asking this to yourself.
what is it really that you’re looking for?

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